No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn!

Soo tired, but thought I'd write.

I'm off to Hotlanta tomorrow to see my sister and go to a friend's wedding. It should be good times, although I was having a terrible time deciding what to pack! Ah, the troubles with being a girl (and having WAY too many clothes). Maybe I'll do a fall cleaning and give some of them away to Good Will or something.

Anyway, so I don't have much to say today besides "what a day at work!" I chased people down, wrote mean emails, played art director with the copywriter, and still barely managed to get the job done. I almost feel like I'm being set up for failure...and I don't like that feeling. Argh...I care not to think on it right now.

Right now is time for sleep so I can get up and finish packing and get to work relatively early so I can leave early on our lovely half day. In any case, PEACE!...and if you don't hear from me for a few days, its because I'm enjoying my mini-vacation.

Mr. Right Now?

I hung out with my roommate tonight and it was so fun. Its nice to finally have a roommate that I can hang out with and relate to.

On an unrelated note, a friend of mine asked me a good question that I think a lot of women can relate to..."why am I attracted to a guy just because he's the only one around?" (not physically in the room, but in your consideration set) interesting, right? I'm not sure I even know the answer, but I know I have the same feeling sometimes. Like when you meet a guy that you aren't necessarily attracted to, but you agree to go on a date with him because you have no other date offers on the table. Or you find yourself wanting to call a guy that isn't so nice to you just because there are no other guys calling you. It's frustrating for me because I like and want to be independent but I find myself always interested in a guy at all times (not necessarily in an I-want-to-marry-this-guy sort of way, just an it'd-be-nice-to-get-to-know-him-better way). Maybe its because we are meant to be with a man, so when there isn't a potential someone around we create one so that we can feel like we are on the path to that end. Or maybe its because everyone desires intimacy, no matter where it comes from, whether physical or emotional, and when there is no one around to provide that you kind of latch on to the next closest thing.

Who knows really? All I know is that I have these feelings sometimes...as does my friend. If you have any thoughts on the matter, please do share.

Coelho

I think I discovered a new author of interest today. Paulo Coelho. I've read his work before (The Alchemist) which I followed with the Celestine Prophecy and turned out to be a very enlightened introspective time for me. I like how he writes about life and love and one's personal journey to find whatever it is they are searching for. So I've decided (at the prompt of the New York Times and their article on Coelho's new book Zahir) that I'm going to take on reading more of his work. His outlook on religion and questions about life also intrigues me. He is a self proclaimed Catholic, but seems more spiritual than religious, able to open his arms to several different religions in his writing. It's also kind of inspiring to read about where people came from and how their writing has evolved, as well as reading and imagining their stories come to life in my own overactive mind. (It doesn't hurt that I don't have cable either...I actually think not having cable is a blessing in disguse because you realize how much people's lives revolve around what they see on TV, discussions, ideas, everything) Oh, sorry, off on a tangent there. So, yeah, I'm going to take on Coelho and hopefully be inspired to take on a long held secret dream of my own.

Exhausted

AFTERNOON:
I'm still exhausted from this weekend's move and shopping, plus a day full of work (read: chasing people around to get stuff done and done right), and the thought of going home to scrub the kitchen floor on my knees with brush in hand (because a mop truly would not do the job). I really just want to take a nap. Me and my eyelids are in a fight to the death. Oooh, Sleepy tiredness. Otherwise, I can't wait to go home.

EVENING:
Now I'm really exhausted. I just finished scrubbing my once disgustingly dirty now somewhat more clean kitchen floor Cinderella-style (on hands and knees with brush). It's the only way I felt confident about how clean the floor would be. Anyway, I'm done with that and relaxing now. I really want ice cream, but I had some two nights ago, so I figure I better not get in the habit of having it all the time or else I'll turn into an ice cream loving water buffalo. Speaking of growing round, I need to go to the gym. I always mean to, but somehow haven't had the time between hurting my back and apartment searching. Now that I'm getting settled into my place, I could probably start going to the gym again...or cancel my membership so I can take advantage of Central Park and East River Park, since I now live so close!

In any case, I'm off to relax and think about not eating ice cream.

What a day *sigh*

Oh my...I'm so spent! Today all I did was shop for the new apartment. No socializing, no fiddly-farting, no lolly-gagging, nada but shopping. Now, don't get me wrong, I can shop with the best of them (and love to), but it is hard trying to figure out what you need versus what you want versus what you must have right now just to survive. Pots, pans, silverware, Mr. Clean, shower curtain, groceries, a curtain, a plunger (that, by the way, doesn't work AT ALL...I didn't think it was possible), and a whole host of other odds and ends that you don't think you need until you don't have them. It's amazing. But after trekking all across the city looking for things and getting back to my apartment and assembling everything, I'm so exhausted. I don't feel like I really got a weekend at all, because yesterday I moved and today I shopped. Now its almost Monday and I'm so tired. At least my boss isn't there tomorrow. Whenever he is away things are always quieter and slower. I just have to make sure things get done, which is generally what he does when he is here. Its different for me though, because no one listens to me...I'm just the junior account person.

Anywho...lets not get ahead of ourselves, its still the weekend. Oh, so I decided to go out dancing last night with some friends, and it turned out to be...how shall we say...aight. I mean there were definitely some good songs to dance to every now and again, and the DJ was really amazing, but I only knew my two friends and they don't dance like I like to dance and the guys there were subpar and kind of skeezy. One guy had the audacity to grab me when I walked by..."um, EXCUSE ME, do I know you?" **eyebrows raised glaring giving him the once over** It was like a meat market, and that's not my type of place. I'm into places where you can dance all night long with a small (or large) group of friends and never have to stop cuz the song sucks or some creepy guy is trying to dance with you. I love gettin' my JAM on! That's why I'm especially excited for my birthday, I can't wait!

Alright, back to putting things together and making my apartment a home (at least for the next year).

The Move-In

I finally moved into my new apartment today!!! Hooray! I can't believe it. Sure, the only furniture I have is a queen sized air mattress that barely fits in my room, but at least I have nice hardwood floors that I'm not afraid to walk on with my bare feet, and I no loner have to worry about the funk that wafts up the stairwell to sting my nostrils. It was pretty decent there for a first apartment, but this one definitely wins out, although my room is much smaller. I'll actually get to use the common space and the appliances aren't from 1950. Excited about that!

And I got to hang with one of my good friends from high school who graciously agreed to help me move! Nice guy, that one, that's why I keep him around. But it made me think about who my real friends are and why more of them weren't around to help out. Irene showed up, which is true Irene form as she is always looking out for her friends. She's a keeper too. But the others I have to wonder about. Most of them Manhattanites by birth, and it makes me think there is something in the water here that makes people think about friendship differently. If one of my friends was moving (which many of them have over the years) I would be right there to help if they asked me. In any case, one of my friendships was thrown into question by a complete lack of concern or interest in me or helping me....well more than that a selfishness that I have tried to deny for a long time. I have fun with this person and really like their friends so I'll probably keep 'em around, but it makes me wonder.

Anyway, I'm off to get ready for a big night out dancing til I can't dance no mo'! Holla at a playa lata!

The Apartment is Ours

So I finally closed on my new apartment with my old college buddy Liz! I move in this weekend, can you believe it?!? I never thought New York was such a ridiculous place to move into, but hey, turns out, it is! I had to sign my lease papers at the brokers office, go to the Management companies office for an interview, now I have to go meet the super at this apartment to get my keys. Isn't there a way to consolidate all this nonsense so I only have to go one place in order to get it all done? I guess that would be asking for too much though huh? Blah! Well at least its almost all taken care of and I can move out of my current place tomorrow.

I'm also supposed to go check out this bar/club tomorrow night (after I finish moving) for my joint birthday bash with my friend Alex. Now, he's not coming with he, he's away, but I have to rally a crew who likes to drink and dance to go with me. I don't know if I can, especially since most of my friends are guys and the fantasy football draft is tomorrow night! Maybe I'll invite one of my new friends, like some of the cool peeps I met from Michigan, or cute boy I met last weekend. Who knows, all I know is that I will certainly be incredibly tired and ready for a drink once tomorrow is over.

Wahoo!!!! The weekend is here!!!!

Dating Uncertainty

So I must admit, I'm trying out the online dating scene. A few weeks ago I mentioned it in one of my entries, and the uncertainty of the idea, but I figured "heck, if I don't give it a try myself, I'll never know for sure." Well...the results are mixed. I have gotten some WAY off the mark guys responding to my profile, and none that really really pique my interest. I think my conclusion is that I am a social butterfly, right? And in order for me to know if I'm interested in someone, I have to spend time with them, talk to them, see how we interact together. It's not just about how the person looks and what they say about themselves in a 2000 character box. I mean, the time I spent trying to craft my profile seems futile every time I go back and read it. I feel like it only expresses one dimension of who I am, and the terms people use to describe themselves are so vague (i.e. fun-well my definition of fun could be laughing all night long, and yours could be taking a girl home with you...). It's just so hard for me to read people online, so I think I'm sticking to real life dating. I'll keep my profile up just to see, but I think real life definitely trumps online!

Another thought...so a few of my guy friends think that I'm always interested in their friends (which isn't entirely false if you know my friends-of-friends dating theory), and they like to tease me about it. So I take it in stride, and it is partially true, but I'm interested in their friends in a he-seems-like-a-nice-guy-and-I'd-like-to-get-to-know-him-better sort of way, not the way I imagine these boys are thinking. The point is, I met another friend of a friend on Saturday who really seemed to be interested, and I want to see him again, but I didn't get his number. He and our mutual friends asked me to play poker with them (although they know I don't really know how to play), but I know they won't call because that's the way they are. Should I call them and invite myself?? Or should I just wait it out and let fate take its course? If we meet again, great! If not, it wasn't meant to be. I have no idea, that's why I'm putting it out there....help!

Tuesday and Almost Homeless

Today my future roomie and I submitted our applications for an apartment that we were approved for. Don't get your hopes up. This does not mean we will get the apartment because now after all of this trouble that we went through to secure the place with ridiculous deposits and such, the landlord's nephew is interested in the place and if he likes it he gets it. Let's talk about unfair. NYC is the most ridiculous apartment market that I have ever seen. I told my roomie if we get this place, we are not moving for a long long LONG time.

On a completely unrelated topic, I'm on this big dating kick...not so much going on dates, but wanting to. So I'm trying to figure out what types of things I like in a guy because I've never really really thought about it. I can identify what I don't like, but not necessarily what I want. But I met this great guy on Saturday night at a friend of a friends birthday party, and I adore him. The things that drew me to him the most were that we made each other laugh and we shared similar experiences even though we went to different universities. He definitely seemed interested but didn't get my number because he was sure we'd see each other again (as we have mutual friends). The point is, I figured out that I really like guys who make me laugh and can relate to me and vice versa. I met another guy on Sunday at another party who was cute and had great eyes, but he made me feel like an idiot whenever I spoke. He didn't laugh at my stupid jokes and had this condescending look on his face the whole night...needless to say I didn't spend much time with that one, but its interesting to see two guys who are both cute and have potential, but the one who made me laugh definitely wins out in my book.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the day. Stay and read a while, I think you'll like it.

Life's a Stage...

I'm in an obnoxiously good mood today for no apparent reason at all. I have a huge meeting that I am not particularly prepared for, but although it's Thursday its my last day at work this week. Tomorrow i go to Altanta to see my sister and celebrate my mom's 50th birthday. Good times! But it makes me wonder why some days I'm in a grumpy mood and others I'm in a good mood. It clearly has nothing to do with how much sleep I get because I didn't get that much and didn't want to get up this morning. Who knows...

On a different note, one of my friends had a viewing of her photos from Cuba last night, and they were amazing. She really is a great photographer, and I was glad she invited me to take part in her adventure and her art. Check her out at www.positiveprint.com. But I met three of her friends who are incredibly interesting. I always meet people in NYC who I would never meet anywhere else. One of them was this guy who happens to be gay, but is living with this woman who he just had a baby with. I'm very confused by the whole situation, and I wanted to make a Will and Grace comment about it, but I held back because I don't know them that well. Then we talked about the two taboo things in conversation with people, politics and religion. Very interesting indeed. New York is full of interesting exchanges that shape who we are and become a part of our screenplay.

Boys and relationships

So all weekend I was bombarded with talk of boys and relationships...of which I have neither. I guess its not so bad without the pressures of society, but those pressures are always there, right? What is it that makes us think/feel we have to be with someone to truly be happy? And even if you are with someone, that doesn't mean you'll be happy, it just means you're with someone. I'd rather wait it out to see if I'll find Mr. Right-for-Me than be with someone just because society makes me feel like I am less than whole without someone.

On a related note, what do we think of online dating? I used to be opposed to it, but living in a city as vast and somewhat difficult to meet people in, it becomes increasingly appealing, no? I don't know. I have great friends, and am a strong believer in the friends-of-friends policy (read, the best way to meet a potential interest is through friends of friends). Lucky for me, most of my friends in the city are guys, so , of course they have a plethora of guy friends. The trick is to find one who I really click with.

In any case...I have been plagued with thoughts like these all weekend, so I welcome Monday! No more talk of dating etc. for at least three days until I go to a friends house party...then all bets are off!

Different Opinions

Have you ever had two completely different reactions from others on one of your personality quirks?? I had that today. I tend to say "I know" a lot when people give me advice. I don't say it in a way that means stop telling me that because I already know what you're getting at, but more in the sense of I realize what you're telling me, now I need to figure out what I'm going to do about it.

So at one point in the past someone told me that I shouldn't say that because it was prideful and gets in the way of me improving my character...okay, duely noted. But today, my mentor just smiled and said you're going to say that to your kids one day in an I-know-you-don't-want-to-do-it-and-I-empathize-but-do-it-anyway sort of way. It was nice the way he meant it and viewed it as part of my personality that would be treasued by future generations rather than something I should change.

Sure there are things about my character that could use a little tweaking, but I am who I am, and I'm rather happy with that girl right now. Let me get to know her first before you tell me to change her.