Here's a question for ya:
Can love exist without sex?
So I know those of you who know me are thinking "WHAT?!!? Gibbas talking about sex" and I have to admit I had an internal debate going as to whether or not I would write about this, but what it boils down to is this: I have to write it because it's a real issue that people face daily so I have to be true to that. (And let me clarify that I mean falling in love and saving sex for serious commitment/engagement/marriage, not abstaining from sex forever in a relationship).
Where did this thought come from, you may be thinking...well I was watching Love Inc. today and it sparked this question because they're supposed to be finding love for people but today's episode focused on, among other things, the main character trying to have sex with the guy she was seeing. Also, being young and single in NYC also sparked some interest in this topic. Apparently, the scene here is largely about taking people home from the bar and sleeping with them. Again, if you know me you know that's not me. Now, the question is, can you fall in love with someone or grow to love them without sleeping with them? I mean, so many people expect that you sleep together after the second or third date and the relationship grows from there, but what about intellectual stimulation? I once read that you should marry someone who you love to talk to because one day that's all you'll have left. How does sex play into that? Can you find a guy who is willing to not sleep with you in favor of getting to know you better and falling in love with you first? I have to hope. A lot of guys...and girls...automatically assume that you're not interested if you don't sleep with them soon after you meet them. In my humble opinion, sure sex is a key part of a relationship, but it is not the end all and be all in deciding if this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. It seems that there are a lot of other factors that come into play, like shared interests, conversation, personality, etc that could shape lifetime compatibility. Perhaps people are just not thinking like that at this age...people have always told me I have an old soul. Who knows.
Just thoughts to ponder...and if you have any thoughts, comments, opinions, please do share.
2 comments:
I have to correct my post. It should read:
Good post Lysandra. Check out the site Hookup Culture. It talks about some of the issues you're getting at with this entry.
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