Insomnia

Its happened again. Woke up this morning at 2:30AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I don't know why this always happens to me, perhaps I worry too much. In any case, I thought now was as good a time as any to share some original poetry. (Written 6.22.05...another night of insomnia):

INSOMNIA

I cannot sleep.
my thoughts engage my mind
at a time when I should be resting
ruminating, percolating
I cannot shake the voice in my head
softly whisper
sometimes screaming
my thoughts unsaid
thoughts, feelings, emotions
that I've pushed to the back
shoved in the darkest recessed of my mind
hoping that if I deny them
for just one more day
just one more hour
that maybe, just maybe
they'll fade and never return...
but that is not the case
they always, always come creeping back to me
as if to remind me of who I'm trying to be
often at the wee hours of the morning
when all the outside distraction
has disappeared
and all I'm left with are my thoughts
and the gentle hum of my air conditioner
what to do with these thoughts
these questions of character and purpose?
do I act on them
or dismiss them as an overworked mind
over-analyzing?
these thoughts are the words of my heart
my true feelings emerging from a deep sleep
at the only time I am helpless
to fight them back into their dark prison.
should I listen?
I don't know
I don't know the answers to these questions
all I do know
is that these thoughts are back
out of the darkness
whispering, screaming
tormenting my tired soul.
all I want is sleep
all I have are my thoughts.

-Gibbas24