Dates, Work, and Bars

So it's been a while...almost 10 days, and I apologize. Life has definitely been interesting since then, and let me tell you about it...

First off, I have been on two lovely dates (and yes, courtesy of online dating). I have to admit that I thought it was completely strange at first...who meets people online, right? But I've heard soo many stories of people dating, getting engaged, and even getting married to people they met on various dating websites, so it's kind of hard not to give it a try. If you think about it, it's just like a bar, but online and minus the alcohol (well, unless you're drinking at home while online, that is). Its turned out well for me so far. Again, I'll keep you updated.

Secondly, work...what to say about it. It's dealt me some blows as of late, but I have struck back fiercely (in the kindest way, of course), stepping up my A game and really showing them what this chick is made of. I'm the type of person who doesn't take one persons opinion as gospel, instead I ask around, research, check it out myself to see if what they say if true (the Berean in me). So I was told something about my ability to get tasks accomplished, which stung, frankly. I like to think I am good at getting things done in a timely fashion, but it is different and hard when the people you're trying to motivate have zero interest in doing what you ask. But I had to take a step back and ask some others what they thought of me on the subject. All others contradicted what I was initially told, which is comforting and rather disturbing all at the same time. Its a game of perception in this business and in order to succeed I need people to perceive me as I truly am...diligent, highly motivated, intelligent, and driven. That's the challenge. In any case, its going slightly better now, and I eagerly look forward to every weekend and holiday. I'll be glad when I don't have this tight tense feeling in my chest anymore.

And lastly, my roomie and I have decided to check out local bars and restaurants once a week. We went to our favorite last night (although it is the first), but we decided that this is our neighborhood bar now. There is a bar downstairs from our apartment, but it is sort of a dive, so we steer clear. Although the manager and bouncer stopped us yesterday on our way home, recognized us, and told us we should come drink there since we live so close. I think we decided on maybe a pre-party drink there, then on to the real parties. At least we know them now, and they'll look out for us.

In any case, that's been my week so far. I'll keep you updated on all related topics as they unfold, and as usual, I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, ideas on any of these topics.

Intuition

My intuition is better than I thought. A while ago at work, I felt strongly like my boss was hanging me out to dry with the Clients, and yesterday he proved me right, sadly. It's incredibly hard to work when all you can think about is how your Clients have no faith in you. That's the worst feeling ever. I wish someone had told me before, versus letting it get so bad with me thinking everything was okay. Now all the blame is pinned on me, despite the fact that the agency can't get their stuff together, we are understaffed, and I don't have the clout to make anyone do anything because I'm the most junior person on our account. It blows, frankly...and I think I've had enough...

I have to learn to trust my intuition more. I used to think that I wasn't a very good judge of character, but it turns out, I'm not so bad, my skills just needed to be improved over time. It runs in my family actually. My mom and sister are both exceptional judges of character.

On another note, my boss actually told me not to think of the people I work with as people. He told me to think of them as buttons on a soda machine, and myself as the person putting the money in and taking the soda out. I have to get people to do what I want so I can get the product I want...only they're not people they're buttons. Is that sick and sad, or is it just me...please enlighten me or I may never work in corporate america...or at least this industry ever again.

Dancing Buddies!

I had a lot of fun last night! I went out with a good friend, made some new friends, and once again danced for hours. It was definitely good times. I also realized that no matter when I go out and with whom, I always end up hanging out with the guys. I don't mind, I have fun that way, and I think I know why. Guys (at least these guys) will stay out as long as there is a bar open, music playing, and some friends around. I love that. I can dance with them, dance with other guys, dance alone, and just have a good time in general. I don't know why dancing is soo necessary for me, but it is. It's means of communication between bodies, you know what they say, 90% of communication is nonverbal.

In any case, I made some new friends last night and I can't wait to hang out with them again. I love these boys, the kisses on the cheek, the hugs, the dancing...yay new friends!

The World Through Their Eyes

It's been a few days...my bad. So I've finally found my work groove at my job. I'm involved in a million different things (just like I like it, as those of you who know me know), and most excitingly coordinating a community service day...what I do best!

Anywho, so one of my friends from college is in town staying with my roomie and I, and its interesting to see both of their outlook on life, love and the future. They think that every woman still wants to have a baby and settle down. Now, I'm not entirely sure that's true. I think it has probably crossed every woman's mind, but like me, for example, I'm not entirely sure if I want to have babies...I mean, I want to have babies, I just don't know if I want to birth them. There are soo many children out there that need families, why not take care of them? And our other male friend that was over said that would definitely be a deal breaker for him, if the woman he was dating wasn't sure if she wanted to have kids. They attributed it immediately to my going to business school...I didn't argue, although that's not the reason why I'm not sure about birthing babies. It's just soo interesting to see different people's outlook on the world.

Oh, and I think I met an interesting guy...we'll see how it really turns out next weekend, but he seems like he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. There is something about him though, that I can't quite put my finger on...like he might be really demanding or something. Don't know. But next weekend I'll let you in on it.

Have a good one, and enjoy the weather despite the rain!

Volunteer for Your Health

I miss volunteering. You know how when you volunteer or help others even in some small insignificant way, you feel better about yourself or your place in the world? It's a good feeling that I've been missing, although I couldn't place it until today. And it's not just about me, either...it's nice to know that someone else's life is better because I chose not to be selfish for just 4 short hours. I've signed up for a big community service day this month where people across the city will be helping to revitalize underprivileged area schools. I'm excited about it. I hope it will spur me on to do one new community service activity a month. I was doing really good at it earlier this year, but when I got my new job I stopped. I met some cool people when I volunteered too.

That's it, I'm back in. If any of you are interested in volunteering, let me know and I can hook you up with a cool organization in NYC!

Now what?

Am I crazy...am I doing something wrong?? Every time I give a guy my contact info, I never hear from him again. Now, I know I'm not very good at the dating game, but is there some secret to giving/getting contact info that no one ever told me about? Am I just completely off base here? It's not like I give them my number and say "I want to marry you and have your babies." I'm just like "yeah, I'd love to hang out sometime, here's my number." Is that wrong?? Please someone queue me in!

In other news...well, I have no other news right now...just my questions. Really, someone comment and help me out.

"Stank Face"

I've been told before that I wear my emotions, not on my sleeve, but on my face. My sister says I make the "stank face" when someone around me is doing something crazy or annoying. I really can't help it, though. My feelings register on my face before I even realize it...they're totally connected, and I am terrible at pretending I feel something that I don't (which is not a bad thing). There have also been people in my life that have told me that these faces and emotions are something I need to "work on". And boy have I tried to change this lovely facet of my character, but it's so inherent...I'm even making faces right now while I'm writing this! But last night I had dinner with a friend, and he reminded me that I'm going to find someone that's right for me, who loves all my faces and intonations, including the "stank face". I said something about a guy who I had been interested in, but ignored by (and I thought I was just stating a fact) but my friend totally picked up on my hint of disdain hidden in there. I told him I need to work on that, but he was like no you don't, it's not a bad thing. It's funny, though, because every time I'm with this guy, he reassures me of who I am and my weird funny quirks that some guy is going to love one day. It's nice to have those people around, who, even though they're not the one, give you hope he's out there.

Again, random thoughts from the peanut gallery...

Ads and the Black Audience

As most of you know, I work in advertising. I also subscribe to a few magazines, one of which is Black Enterprise. I have to admit, it's a great read and addresses the issues that are of particular interest and relevance to the black audience. One thing I did notice, that was slightly disturbing is the ads. The content of the magazine (at least this month, October 2005) is focused on saving for retirement and in every issue there seems to be an underlying element of building wealth, but the ads are trying to persuade the consumers to purchase luxury goods like BMWs, Movado watches, stays at the Westin and Marriott hotels, Cadillacs, flights around the world, Audis. Now don't get me wrong, there is a fair share of ads marketing financial services and everyday items, but it strikes me that in a publication that is so forthrightly promoting saving and building wealth in a community that needs to hear that message (myself included), advertisers would promote products that clearly contradict that. And I know it's not so cut and dry, believe me, I know. Companies key demographics may lie in this market so they feel they need to reach them, and its the consumers decision to buy or not, but are these companies perpetuating the "keep up with the Joneses", this-is-what's-cool mentality?? Is that their goal? Is that wrong? Is it ethical? Is it okay?? All questions I don't have the answer to, but it struck a chord with me seeing these ads.

Also, some of the ads were just terrible. The advertisers were clearly trying to reach the African American market (hence the placement), but some of the ads simply replaced a white person with a black person. The message is the same, and potentially not as relevant to the audience...shame on you! Black people are not just white people with darker skin. We have a history and culture that is very different on many levels, and can cause us to relate to content differently. I have to give some companies credit though, there were some good ads in there (Pepsi, Pontiac, Mercedes, Movado, Hennessy and Infiniti).

Anyway, I thought I would sound off on the subject because I can. If you have any thoughts, feel free to leave me a comment. (NOTE: the two ads you see here were not in this issue, but are good examples of advertising to African Americans in my humble opinion)

Workout Bodies

So I'm trying to get back in my gym routine after apartment searching and moving. It's going alright so far, but me and my abs are in a fight to the death...or the tone! The funny thing about going to the gym is the people who are there. I try not to give them a hard time because its great that they are there trying to get in shape. But the ones with the sunglasses on the treadmill...inside, the ladies with serious makeup on, and the ones with non-exercise sneakers...it's all very bizarre and interesting at the same time. But my absolute favorite thing about the gym is seeing all the people of different shapes and sizes. Because when you're out on the street people use clothes to hide their "imperfections", but at the gym it doesn't really matter because the "imperfections" are precisely why you're there. It's refreshing to know that there are soo many different body types out there...makes me feel less crazed about whipping mine back into shape.

Anyway, that's my two cents for tonight. Have a good one and get ready for Monday.

Ethics

I took a course in business ethics when I was in college, and back then I thought, "Why is this guy asking me all these easy questions? Of course I wouldn't take the unethical route, that just seems brainless." But now that I'm in Corporate America it has all become so clear why they prepare us and ask these questions. I mean, at my job, little things have arisen that (some might say) require unethical actions, like little white lies, but I always feel like these are the things that are going to come back and bite me in the rear later in my career. My firm stance (although it's hard to keep it from turning to jelly) is that I won't lie, cheat, or steal...now in an industry that often thrives on these three things, it's hard, let me tell you. I mean, I've sat down with people who were like do whatever it takes (and NOT short of lying) to get people to do what you need them to do...that's not how I operate. I'm not going to yell and scream at people, I'm not going to stalk them or try to bribe them. I'm going to treat them like intelligent human beings (whether they are or not is a different story) with respect and kindness and hope that they realize we're in this together and meet deadlines out of respect. I'm also a very transparent person. When I do something that's not in my nature, it's very very apparent and people always call me on it. It doesn't pay for me to lie or try to be something that I'm not, so I'm just going to be true to me and remain ethical...

In other news, Michigan v. Michigan State at noon! GO STATE!!!!