Tentative

He's good...really good, but I'm nervous. I met a man who is...mmm...great...well, not on-a-pedestal-great, normal, very normal, but I'm beginning to really like him. He gives me what I need and doesn't even have to ask. He holds my hand, jokes with me, talks to me, kisses me, is concerned about me...what I want. But it scares me because in my mind he must have ulterior motives because all the guys I've dealt with in the past did. They wanted to get in my pants or wanted my friend or wanted free beer or wanted a non-sexual girlfriend stand-in. Part of me knows that he is not this way, but the other part of me is holding back tentatively until I get to know him better and find out what his true intentions are. He has been a total gentleman every time I have hung out with him so far which is comforting. And I think about him a lot and miss his voice and lips and sense of humor and hands. I like being near him. I guess I just have to know that even if I stop holding back that like/love often involves pain (usually not on purpose) and I have to be willing to risk that if I want to be with him.