Insecurity

Have you ever been caught up in one of those moments (that may last hours or days) when everything you do feels wrong or makes you feel guilty?? I'm having one of those moments...

I know that 90% of this is imagined in my head, but lets continue on anyway. It seems that when I try to take time for myself or specify time to spend with friends that I feel like people are judging me. I don't know why all of the sudden this is, but it is. For example, I got off the phone with a friend yesterday because someone made a comment that I interpreted to mean "oh, you're on the phone NOW when its supposed to be our time to hang out" so I got off the phone, only to feel like the person I was on the phone with is now mad at me. Turns out I was wrong on one count, but I still felt bad. Then today a friend called while I was eating and I asked if I could call back, but when I got off the phone, I distinctly felt like the person was mad at me and wasn't going to pick up the phone when I called back. They didn't, but called me back shortly thereafter, assuaging my fears that they were angry with me. Again today when I got home to find my roommate sick and contagious, I kept getting phone calls while trying to catch up with her and I felt really bad that I kept taking them while cutting her off in the middle of her comments. We hardly ever get to spend time together and I spent majority of the time answering phone calls...I'm a jerk (that's how I feel anyway).

Well, the moral of the story is, I'm in this moment having these thoughts, and I can't outrun them! They have kept me awake resulting in this stream-of-consciousness and I want to shake them, but I don't know how. Why am I soo insecure right now, what's wrong with me?!?