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May 27, 2009
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May 22, 2009
The (Sad) End
It sucks to work somewhere for three years and realize just at the end how taken for granted you were. It makes me incredibly sad. Some people that I work with on a daily basis aren't even here my last day and didn't bother to say goodbye or good luck :-/ The flip side of that is that almost all of my vendors and outside parties that I work with are sad to see me go and expressed their pleasure in working with me over the past three years and best wishes for grad school and the future. That affirms to me that I must have been doing something right and that my time here wasn't completely for naught.
But I just wished it had ended differently...better. Ah well, it reaffirms my desire to pursue higher education where I can learn and grow instead of staying sedentary, growing negative, and not having the support of management to grow professionally. I made the right decision and after today I think my insides will unknot and I will relax and bask in the glow of unemployment before grad school.
But I just wished it had ended differently...better. Ah well, it reaffirms my desire to pursue higher education where I can learn and grow instead of staying sedentary, growing negative, and not having the support of management to grow professionally. I made the right decision and after today I think my insides will unknot and I will relax and bask in the glow of unemployment before grad school.
May 21, 2009
Why do people find it
Why do people find it soo necessary to stand extremely close to me on the train. And facing me too. Uncomfortable!
May 20, 2009
PEACE OUT!
Why is standing up for myself soo hard! Man I wanted to avoid it soo badly, I had no idea how they were going to react. It wasn't how I imagined, and frankly in all my destest for "it's not personal it's business" I tried to embrace that mantra and I was personally attacked by them. That's crap. I know it was a surprise, but they treated me like an idiot, like what I've been doing was meanial and this new kid is going to come in and do soo much more, taking over the president's role....
....ooooooooooh shit! I totally just realized what it is about this kid that endears them to him soo much. I shouldn't say it but it totally makes sense...He is just like the pres' recently deceased son who he wanted to take over the company. It all makes soo much sense now. That could be wrong, but it seems soo right. That's why he can do no wrong. That's why he speaks soo highly of him when in reality he has similar qualifications as me.
In their minds I never moved past the 2 years of experience "girl" that they hired three years ago. They haven't seen how I've grown and taken on all this responsibility. They think I can't take this stupid place to the next level...and guess what KEEP IT! I don't want any part of it anymore anyway. Have your medicore job while I go on to do something soo much bigger. Peace out bitches!
....ooooooooooh shit! I totally just realized what it is about this kid that endears them to him soo much. I shouldn't say it but it totally makes sense...He is just like the pres' recently deceased son who he wanted to take over the company. It all makes soo much sense now. That could be wrong, but it seems soo right. That's why he can do no wrong. That's why he speaks soo highly of him when in reality he has similar qualifications as me.
In their minds I never moved past the 2 years of experience "girl" that they hired three years ago. They haven't seen how I've grown and taken on all this responsibility. They think I can't take this stupid place to the next level...and guess what KEEP IT! I don't want any part of it anymore anyway. Have your medicore job while I go on to do something soo much bigger. Peace out bitches!
May 19, 2009
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Ms. Power & Ms. Smoother
I just now realized what it is about them. Why these two particular people that I know get along soo very well when I barely get along with either of them. They like one another because one is a total people pleaser and smoother and the other is on a power trip. It works because Ms. Power dominates the relationship over Ms. Smoother. Very weird.
Why don't I get along with them? It's totally a power struggle. Ms. Power wants to be in control of everything even things that don't fall under her purview. Anyone who know me knows that this doesn't fly in my book. I've figured out a way to make things work out, but its a constant struggle for power...yuck!
And Ms. Smoother tries so very hard to make everyone happy, but the world doesn't work that way. (Didn't her momma ever tell her "you can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time") Sometimes the decisions you make are not going to be ones that everyone agrees with and you have to be ok with that. I don't think she is. How it relates to me? Well in trying to make certain people happy she tries to tell me what to do, and once again that doesn't fly with me. It's a power struggle again.
I cannot wait to leave these two behind and move forward with my life getting smarter, sharper, and more professional nimble. It's interesting how things work out and what we can learn, but I'm glad to take that risk and keep on learning!
Why don't I get along with them? It's totally a power struggle. Ms. Power wants to be in control of everything even things that don't fall under her purview. Anyone who know me knows that this doesn't fly in my book. I've figured out a way to make things work out, but its a constant struggle for power...yuck!
And Ms. Smoother tries so very hard to make everyone happy, but the world doesn't work that way. (Didn't her momma ever tell her "you can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time") Sometimes the decisions you make are not going to be ones that everyone agrees with and you have to be ok with that. I don't think she is. How it relates to me? Well in trying to make certain people happy she tries to tell me what to do, and once again that doesn't fly with me. It's a power struggle again.
I cannot wait to leave these two behind and move forward with my life getting smarter, sharper, and more professional nimble. It's interesting how things work out and what we can learn, but I'm glad to take that risk and keep on learning!
May 14, 2009
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May 13, 2009
Letting Go
Over the past couple of weeks,I have been continually surprised by how hard it is for me to let go of this job. I thought it would be fairly easy...find replacement, train him/her, relax, head off to grad school. It is not so my friends. I find my self correcting him on ideas that could be good but don't necessarily fit in with my ideas of how to manage a brand. I am seeing an increasingly negative side of myself in shooting down ideas (that I know from the past to have gotten rejected, been illegal, or not worked) and I don't like it. I think that may be particular to this job/company, but I am going to keep a close eye on it in my personality, because it is definitely NOT something I want to carry on.
It has really been eye opening for me. I sit in the room with my "replacement" and have to tell myself to keep my mouth shut because this is now his project. It's sad to get a glimpse of how things are going to go from here on out because while some things will be better, it seems apparent that some may get left by the wayside.
Who knows, the reality is that this is not my job anymore, and not my company to pull for anymore. Sad but true I suppose. I had always imagined moving on but still being amicable with my replacement and offering help and suggestions, but I feel like at this age and this time in life my co-horts feel like they have to prove themselves and therefore be competitive and contentious. (I'm probably the same way). Its just not what I had pictured happening. None of this has gone down how I imagined it would. But alas, these are the things we learn in life. Be cautiously optimistic, get to know people before you accept a job offer, love life and love what you do!
It has really been eye opening for me. I sit in the room with my "replacement" and have to tell myself to keep my mouth shut because this is now his project. It's sad to get a glimpse of how things are going to go from here on out because while some things will be better, it seems apparent that some may get left by the wayside.
Who knows, the reality is that this is not my job anymore, and not my company to pull for anymore. Sad but true I suppose. I had always imagined moving on but still being amicable with my replacement and offering help and suggestions, but I feel like at this age and this time in life my co-horts feel like they have to prove themselves and therefore be competitive and contentious. (I'm probably the same way). Its just not what I had pictured happening. None of this has gone down how I imagined it would. But alas, these are the things we learn in life. Be cautiously optimistic, get to know people before you accept a job offer, love life and love what you do!
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