Where does this leader fit in?

Seems that I can't sleep a lot lately. Not so much fun with all this work to do. Tonight what's plaguing me is the same that's been pulling at me for the last few weeks (except when I was home with the bf...he seems to put this stuff all in perspective) what kind of leadership role do I want in school? If you know me you know I always gravitate towards leadership roles. I want them. I like them. I'm good at them. But here something is different. I feel like I know myself better, yet I find myself fighting losing battles often. It's not the type of environment where I know that I can be the most effective that I can be. It brings out frustration, which is something I am working on, but leading in that type of environment won't allow me to be effective or make the best decisions. I think the reality of the situation is that I need to find what I am passionate about and not just lead for leaderships sake. It's gotta be that thing that makes me talk fast, get animated, make my heart beat fast. What is that? I mean I LOVE sustainability. I am really interested in diversity issues. I hate babying people and babysitting people which it increasing feels like I have to do. Perhaps I need to take a back seat to leadership (cha, right...if you know me that's virtually impossible...I'd sooner create something for myself to lead than lead nothing).

I told myself when I came here I was going to trust my instincts and something about whats going down doesn't feel right to me. I'm ok with that...well not okay with it, but I know enough to remove myself from it. There are certain people that just don't seem right, and I don't want my name associated with them. There are others that you can tell are good people. Now don't get me wrong, my intuition is by no means the end all and be all, but it generally steers me right (and when I don't listen, I go wrong).

I just need to decide what I want to do and stop tormenting myself about it. I need to be at peace with the thing I decide to pursue. What is that, you wonder? Very good question. If I knew exactly at this point I may let you know, I may not. I just need to work it out first.