It is upsetting for me to hear people doubt my chances of getting into graduate school. Who would dare say such a thing out loud, you ask? Oh, that would be my lovely bosses. It's such a shame to work for people who, without even realizing what they're saying, degrade you and question your intelligence. Why would you want someone working for you that you didn't think was smart enough to get into grad school? That's what eludes me. And if you did want that kind of person, that's not the kind of place that I want to work.
The reality is that I know they don't mean it when they say these things...like "oh, we haven't talked about your replacement yet because we don't even know if you'll get in." or "There are a lot of people applying this year so we're not sure if you'll be going to school in the fall" I mean, to them this is just rational thinking, but to me it's a huge slap in the face. It makes me consider what they actually wrote in my letters of recommendation. Scary thought, huh?!
Anyway, I've been ruminating on this for days, as my decision dates approach. I'm pretty confident about some schools and questionable about others, but certain I'll make the right decision. It's a stressful process to begin with, so if you see me and I tell you I'm applying to XYZ schools, even if you don't think I'll get in, just be happy for me that I'm embarking on a new phase in life. Much love!
January 16, 2009
January 08, 2009
More thoughts on American Obesity
So...if you read the last post you know my office is having a Blubber Bowl this month (we're competing a la "Biggest Loser" to see who can lose the most weight). We got our office scale yesterday and everyone felt the need to play with it...of course. The sad thing is that the only person in our office that isn't overweight is the one person we all think needs to eat more (he only eats half a grilled cheese for lunch and no dinner for example). If you can imagine these weigh-ins, most people were not in denial of their weight, but in denial about their body fat composition, which our scale shows. "Oh, this must be wrong, I can't be Obese!" "No way this is accurate, it must be broken." Everyone who weighed in so far, save 3 people, is Obese...including yours truly.
Now I could make every excuse in the book, but I won't. The reality is that I could be healthier so I am making a choice to change my eating and exercise habits. It just really struck me that we, as Americans, have such a distorted view of what is healthy and what isn't. According to our pre-weigh-in the kid who "needs to eat more" is the only healthy one here (not accounting for nutrition). The rest of us who have come to accept our sizes are really the ones who need to trim down. Here it is kids...plain and simple...we eat too much and don't exercise enough. Being five feet three inches and weighing in at one hundred eighty one pounds is NOT ok, whether its muscle or fat.
Its crazy how many excuses are made and rationalizations embraced. I'm trying to shed that. No more excuses, I'm not just muscular, I am a bit unhealthy. And I'm going to fix that. 2009...and the rest of my life...here I come!
Now I could make every excuse in the book, but I won't. The reality is that I could be healthier so I am making a choice to change my eating and exercise habits. It just really struck me that we, as Americans, have such a distorted view of what is healthy and what isn't. According to our pre-weigh-in the kid who "needs to eat more" is the only healthy one here (not accounting for nutrition). The rest of us who have come to accept our sizes are really the ones who need to trim down. Here it is kids...plain and simple...we eat too much and don't exercise enough. Being five feet three inches and weighing in at one hundred eighty one pounds is NOT ok, whether its muscle or fat.
Its crazy how many excuses are made and rationalizations embraced. I'm trying to shed that. No more excuses, I'm not just muscular, I am a bit unhealthy. And I'm going to fix that. 2009...and the rest of my life...here I come!
January 06, 2009
On Resolution 2
So I began my quest to achieve my second resolution of losing weight yesterday. I went to the gym against my every inclination, but motivated by the resolution (and my boyfriend). I also weighed myself...super fun! I'm weighing in at 181 (4lbs lighter than my last doctor visit in October). I thought it would be easy for me to do since I have "gotten healthy" as I put it (or "trimmed down" as my college cheer coach put it) before. This time, having the words "lose weight" in my mind is making it that much harder. I can do this!
I read an article in the New York Times today about how exercise is not only about accessibility to work out equipment, but personal motivation and the belief that you can achieve your goals. Intellectually I think I can do this, but physically I doubt myself. I feel like recently I've been bombarded with overly skinny women making me feel even fatter than I am. I know that I am a muscular woman, but I've begun to hide behind that as an excuse for weighing a lot. I have definitely NOT gained 25lbs of muscle since college, that's for sure. Maybe a few pounds, but not 25.
But along these lines, my company has initiated the Blubber Bowl. It's a competition to lose weight in the month of January. We have an office scale and we'll all weigh in together at the beginning of the month and the end of the month. There is a prize to motivate us all, and I have enlisted our Operations Manager as my coach. He rides his bike like 30 miles every morning and has been the same weight since college (he's 40 now) where he was in crew. It's going to be rough at first, but he is very logical about everything so I think that will help me stop making excuses.
Stay tuned for more updates as I go along. It should be an interesting journey to July 1st and 160lbs. I'll probably be hungry and grumpy in the beginning, but ultimately more energized.
I read an article in the New York Times today about how exercise is not only about accessibility to work out equipment, but personal motivation and the belief that you can achieve your goals. Intellectually I think I can do this, but physically I doubt myself. I feel like recently I've been bombarded with overly skinny women making me feel even fatter than I am. I know that I am a muscular woman, but I've begun to hide behind that as an excuse for weighing a lot. I have definitely NOT gained 25lbs of muscle since college, that's for sure. Maybe a few pounds, but not 25.
But along these lines, my company has initiated the Blubber Bowl. It's a competition to lose weight in the month of January. We have an office scale and we'll all weigh in together at the beginning of the month and the end of the month. There is a prize to motivate us all, and I have enlisted our Operations Manager as my coach. He rides his bike like 30 miles every morning and has been the same weight since college (he's 40 now) where he was in crew. It's going to be rough at first, but he is very logical about everything so I think that will help me stop making excuses.
Stay tuned for more updates as I go along. It should be an interesting journey to July 1st and 160lbs. I'll probably be hungry and grumpy in the beginning, but ultimately more energized.
January 05, 2009
Resolutions for 2009
I know a lot of people are anti-resolutions, but why not use the New Year as a reason to make some decisions about changing yourself. I do make resolutions, and I do a decent job of keeping them...shall we revisit last year's??
2008 Resolutions:
1) Take advantage of the gym membership that I already pay for (either by working out 5 days a week or taking a class at the gym)
- I did work out about 4 days a week for most of the year, and I do feel like I got my money's worth out of my membership
2) Tone my arms and abs
- the arms are definitely more tone, although the abs are only slightly more tone
3) Work on having a more positive outlook on life and not being soo "snarky".
- Definitely made this a reality. The move to BK definitely helped
4) Not getting so stressed out/moderating that stress better (via breathing exercises or yoga at home)
- I have practiced more yoga than 2007, but my doctor has informed me that I have ever so slightly high blood pressure which leads me to believe that I need to continue working on this
5) No more swearing
- yeah, not so much with this one
6) No whining
- only when its funny
What are my resolutions for 2009, you ask? Lets check it out:
1) To worry less (i.e. decrease my blood pressure and let things be once I have done my best)
2) To lose weight (this is a new one for me), specifically to weight 160 by July 1st. That's roughly 15-20lbs for those interested ;-)
2a) To complete at least one 30 day challenge in Bikram yoga (for those of you who don't practice, that's 30 straight days of hot yoga without missing one)
3) To have a more positive outlook (it's the evergreen on my resolutions...I'm a constant work in progress)
So if you see me or hang out with me and I'm falling short of these resolutions, please feel free to poke me or scold me. It should be a good year!
2008 Resolutions:
1) Take advantage of the gym membership that I already pay for (either by working out 5 days a week or taking a class at the gym)
- I did work out about 4 days a week for most of the year, and I do feel like I got my money's worth out of my membership
2) Tone my arms and abs
- the arms are definitely more tone, although the abs are only slightly more tone
3) Work on having a more positive outlook on life and not being soo "snarky".
- Definitely made this a reality. The move to BK definitely helped
4) Not getting so stressed out/moderating that stress better (via breathing exercises or yoga at home)
- I have practiced more yoga than 2007, but my doctor has informed me that I have ever so slightly high blood pressure which leads me to believe that I need to continue working on this
5) No more swearing
- yeah, not so much with this one
6) No whining
- only when its funny
What are my resolutions for 2009, you ask? Lets check it out:
1) To worry less (i.e. decrease my blood pressure and let things be once I have done my best)
2) To lose weight (this is a new one for me), specifically to weight 160 by July 1st. That's roughly 15-20lbs for those interested ;-)
2a) To complete at least one 30 day challenge in Bikram yoga (for those of you who don't practice, that's 30 straight days of hot yoga without missing one)
3) To have a more positive outlook (it's the evergreen on my resolutions...I'm a constant work in progress)
So if you see me or hang out with me and I'm falling short of these resolutions, please feel free to poke me or scold me. It should be a good year!
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