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Karaoke night at KFBS! Featuring Kris kros by Tillman legacy!!

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All things in due course

Today has been quite a good day. Not over the top amazing, but a good solid day.

After three weeks of contemplation, I went back to see my nutritionist and we talked about why I was stuck losing weight...turns out, I have a good body image and don't so much want to lose weight. The flip side is that with a family history of high blood pressure losing 5% of my body weight will dramatically reduce my chances of developing high blood pressure (for which I almost already have pre-hypertension). That (being health and wellness reasons) is a good enough reason for me to get my butt into gear and lose weight.

The other part of our discussion revolved around stress...which is manifesting itself in a LOT of bad ways in my life right now. I've taken up yoga for stress relief and meditation to help minimize and prevent stress if possible.

Here's the interesting part: I was going to grab lunch today at Wendy's, but decided at the last minute to get Carrburritos instead. When I walked up to the door (a door I have visited numerous times before) I noticed there is a Meditation studio upstairs...hmmm...interesting coincidence. Then after I ate, I asked the woman who worked there if she knew anything about the studio. Turns out she is a yoga instructor and is interested in visiting the meditation studio as well. She gave me her card and hopefully we will practice at the same time.

Now there are several ways to view this interesting string of events, and I count myself blessed to be able to recognize many of them:

1) It is a mere coincidence that all of these events would transpire on the same day at a time that I was open to seeing them
2) The universe is conspiring to help me lead a more peaceful life by leading me to lunch at a place near a meditation studio with a waitress that teaches yoga who also wants to practice meditation.
3) God has moved in all these people's lives so that our paths would cross, and led me to lunch at Carrburritos so I could discover the meditation space.
4) I simply happen to be aware of opportunities to grow personally because I have been talking a lot about yoga and meditation so I finally realized there was a studio in a place I visit regularly, and had the foresight to ask one of the waitresses about it.

Frankly, I don't care much about the reason. I'm glad to have had these experiences conspire upon me today, and will hopefully have the will power and wherewithal to take action on them.

Chapter Ending

I've never really thought about the end of chapters until the beginning of the new one had already begun. But alas, that is not the case these days. I realize with business school coming to a close in 8 short months and me needing to get a job that I am writing/living the end of a pretty interesting chapter.

In this time, I have learned a ton about myself, including strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, and points of pride. However, in this moment, anxiety is overtaking me. Anxiety about if I will find a job (everyone keeps saying, yes you will, but how do they really know). Anxiety about whether or not people truly like me or if they're just being phony because we're supposed to build our networks. Anxiety about if I'm leading my team effectively or if they all think I'm a do-do! Anxiety about whether or not I have burned "political" bridges by being the outspoken woman that I am.

I think too much.

What I'm coming to learn is that some things are within my control and some things are not. A no-duh for most of you. The things that are outside of my control benefit none from my stress and anxiety so I must let them go. Those things that are within my control deserve some attention, but not all my energy because I would never get anything else done (like coursework and spending time with the bf). So this is basically the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. I'm working on wisdom to know the difference today.

So help me out if you see or hear me stressing about something that is not within my control. I'd like to be a bigger, better, braver, stronger, more humble human being, but alas...this takes work, time and wisdom.

Amazing...just the way you are!

Have you ever heard a song that you just had to have and when you finally get it you just listen to it over and over again?

Well, that's me and Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars. I woke up a few days ago with this song stuck in my head and have been listening to it ever since.

It's especially nice since today felt like a career search victory and I bought 2 new pairs of shoes. Love it...having a good day and feel amazing just the way I am!

Are we there yet?

Oh to have a job and earn money.

I always thought it would be cool to go back to school and be out of the workforce for a bit, but I think a year is all I really needed. I find myself wanting to return to work for a bit more consistency of routine. Don't get me wrong, I have learned an amazing amount about myself, my life goals, my interpersonal skills (and lack thereof), but I am aching for an environment where I have some choice over who I am surrounded by. I'm tired of getting crazy looks for saying what is on my mind. I'm tired of people who don't have similar courtesy values or open minds. I'm sad that not very many people get my sarcasm. I thought I was not very sarcastic, and hated it in NY when people would be overly sarcastic with me, but I guess it rubbed off somehow. Now I find myself in the opposite chair. Saying things that I quickly regret because it was misunderstood. Negotiating complicated relationships that involve power struggle, control and ego. I am definitely struggling for my own power and control and trying to quell my ego through this whole experience too.

Just wish I had a job and was done already...that's all.

Pardon my vent.

I miss my homies!

I miss my homegirls right now. I just got two great emails from two different friends and it reminded me how much I love spending time with them and just chatting until the sun comes up :-( I definitely have to make a better effort to stay in touch and visit my friends now (NYC ladies) and when school ends (UNC peeps).

Having a summer break and being in different places definitely feels different than in undergrad. I remember going away from my friends then and diving into my internships, but I don't remember it feeling like this. Maybe I'm just being overly emotional today, but I do miss them.

Anywho, that's all for now. Miss you my people!

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Our kitchen almost done.

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Nutrition Adventure

I've embarked on a new adventure. One where I try to treat my body as it should be treated in relation to health and fitness. Enter my nutritionist. A wonderful woman...patient, caring, knowledgeable, understanding, and most of all interested in helping me live healthier. She listens to my crazy ramblings about eating hand-fulls of candy in the afternoon and counting cleaning as an exercise and gently reminds me of the implications of the actions. Adore her patience and persistence.

But alas, this is not quite the cakewalk that I would hope for. Turns out self control is a challenge, and also understanding portions, not only of food but of sub-components of that food (read: fat, protein, carbs, fiber, etc). All challenges for a woman who loves me some carbs (55% of my diet was carbs per my food journal, not bad but should be more around 40-45%). The best thing about my nutritionist though is that she is not asking me to count carbs or specifically count these food components. She's trying to teach me a way of intuitively eating healthy by first understanding the portion sizes, then sub-component portion sizes and picking foods that fit into my daily requirements for those. It takes practice that's for sure.

What have I learned thus far:
1) I now know what a serving size looks like (smaller than you would think)
2) I am constantly taunted by the jar of candy in my bosses office (its almost as though I can hear it laughing at me when I walk past)
3) I have to prioritize true exercise in my daily routine for at least 45 minutes
4) Eating healthy really does taste pretty good (I had a turkey sub on whole wheat for lunch with tons of veggies that I wouldn't normally eat and no dressing and it was delish!)
5) Pre-packing my own snacks helps me more easily practice healthier eating habits
6) Understanding my food helps me understand that what society sometimes calls bad is not necessarily that bad for me if eaten correctly (correctly=appropriate portion size)

Overall, I'm enjoying learning what it means to eat more healthfully. I would encourage anyone who's insurance will cover it to go to a nutritionist. It is amazingly helpful in understanding food in a way no one really ever teaches us.

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One of the last structural pieces to get ready for move in! Window fixed!

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Its official! We have a mailbox!

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Our new car!!!

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Adam and I are officially homeowners!!

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Composting at Emory University,s school of public health graduation.

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Leave it Better Than You Found It

Through a seminar on Strategic Corporate Social Responsibility I was asked to describe my personal social responsibility (PSR) strategy. I explored my own core competencies, core objectives, and life goals and came up with this poem to express it all creatively:

Leave it better than you found it

Live BIG.
Bigger than you ever dreamed…
…with smaller footprints in your wake.
Footprints shaped by your actions,
and inactions.
Act WISELY.
With wisdom to rescue what we once had,
the natural beauty and bounty of this earth.
Act NOT on false wants,
society's pressure to have more and be more.
Be but who you are.
Through you we can all be different.
Affect CHANGE.
Change that shakes others
to their very core.
Change that challenges the very ideals
on which we base our existence.
Do not OBEY.
Do not SETTLE FOR LESS.
We have but one life.
One opportunity.
One earth.
She is more delicate
and resilient
than we all give her credit for.

Don't want to die young

So I went to the doctor to explore some wrist pain after a bike accident I had and discovered for the third time that my blood pressure was slightly elevated. What that means is that I have prehypertension. I'm not a big fan of this, and know that high blood pressure runs in my family, so I am determined to do everything in my power to make sure I don't have a heart attack young. The only prescription (without taking drugs) is to exercise 30 minutes a day. I hate running, but without my bike currently its the only option I have. I got up early today and ran for 30 minutes in the cold North Carolina morning. And I will be doing the same every other day before I ride to school.

It really actually freaked me out knowing that I could get high blood pressure. I don't want to die young, but the only cure is to exercise and lose weight. The idea of losing weight makes sad. I hate deprivation, but I guess I just have to reframe it. And wouldn't you know the morning that I am determined to start my new eating habits, one of my group members brings Krispy Kreme doughtnuts for breakfast. I guess its a real test. I haven't eaten one yet, but we'll see. Being fat is not on my list of things to do for 2010, and I am in fact still 5lbs lighter than this time in 2009, so I guess that's good.

Anywho, if you want to help motivate me in some way, I'm open!

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