I've never really thought about the end of chapters until the beginning of the new one had already begun. But alas, that is not the case these days. I realize with business school coming to a close in 8 short months and me needing to get a job that I am writing/living the end of a pretty interesting chapter.
In this time, I have learned a ton about myself, including strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, and points of pride. However, in this moment, anxiety is overtaking me. Anxiety about if I will find a job (everyone keeps saying, yes you will, but how do they really know). Anxiety about whether or not people truly like me or if they're just being phony because we're supposed to build our networks. Anxiety about if I'm leading my team effectively or if they all think I'm a do-do! Anxiety about whether or not I have burned "political" bridges by being the outspoken woman that I am.
I think too much.
What I'm coming to learn is that some things are within my control and some things are not. A no-duh for most of you. The things that are outside of my control benefit none from my stress and anxiety so I must let them go. Those things that are within my control deserve some attention, but not all my energy because I would never get anything else done (like coursework and spending time with the bf). So this is basically the serenity prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. I'm working on wisdom to know the difference today.
So help me out if you see or hear me stressing about something that is not within my control. I'd like to be a bigger, better, braver, stronger, more humble human being, but alas...this takes work, time and wisdom.
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